I have sat in reflection. Listened to the voices of the elders who reminded everyone of Wolakota. Our values that make us Lakota. Courage, respect, compassion.. all of them. It's easier now for me to hear that because I have run until my body burned away the adrenaline that had released within me. I clambered steep buttes and threw rocks up into the wind until my arms grew weary and the anger had been released from my heart and hands. I fell to my knees and shed tears into the earth until peace washed over me like a child given comfort by their mother.Those tears were the pain of our history and each was the life of an ancestor who fought to remain Lakota.
Those military in the Blackhawks had no idea our Tribal Leader/Council had not spoken with the people. I am responsible for my own reaction. I acknowledge my anger, my tears and I am responsible for releasing what my body has come to hold. I do not want these emotions spent on other people. People who did not know. I want to bring forth the Wolakota. Respect, courage, compassion.
It takes courage to explore the anger and hurt within. I do not wish to kick the dog, yell at the child, or fight with my neighbor… only to cry and to run, to let it out, and it does frighten me. To face all that. But I must so I do not feel a rage at someone weaker than me, perhaps a woman, perhaps a soldier. I must so that I don't drink or get high and with the pain as an excuse. We all know on the rez the terrible things, the abuse and deaths that come from that.
It was not wrong to run at those Helicopters, not when no one had been told they were coming. There was no time to sit with it and find the calm. In that very moment all the pain was awoken.
But now we can ask..
You who knew only what you saw. The sight of military helicopters approaching. You who felt the strength to make a stand. To protect those who now lay in the embrace of our mother the earth. I wonder, can you feel to invite those men in the helicopters back? Can you feel the strength in preparing a feast and asking those soldiers to sit and share food? Can we invite them and say, My Great Grandmother is in the ground that you wished to land upon? My uncles of the past. Small children who never saw two summers, yes, buried there. It was a time of genocide. Come with us and face that so we all might learn together? Can we offer the Canupa with a Prayer for healing? Can we offer those soldiers a gift of our story, our sorrow, our suffering, our humanness and compassion so that it is a seed within them that will grow?
How far can we find it within ourselves to reach out and offer those things that the world needs if it is to get better for the generations to come... all Nation's generations.
You were brave but can you be braver still and show the way? It's the way our Ancestors walked since we came from our Mother.
If this is our dream, hopes and prayers... a pleading with Tunkasila, that we as a Nation will flourish. That our youth will not seek escape through suicide. That we will truly be sovereign and healthy. Respected and heard. Then what are we willing to do?
Can we as a Nation become truly one? Can we accept those who may only have one drop of Lakota blood? Can we laugh together? Pray together? Sun Dance with the sacrifice of only one Cottonwood? Can we as communities help each other. Care for the elders and young of all families as one family?
There is hope. I see it in the richness of who we are. The programs that are growing, pushing up through the despair. No longer living as victims but as empowering hearts and minds. It's a freedom from the wounds. Not a forgetting but a living for the generations new and yet to be.
It's exhausting to the mind, body and spirit if we remain at war... it spreads to in fighting. It becomes all we know. Whether with our self, family, community or as racism. Gangs are born and divisions built or families feud with other families.
I remember being told by my Ate, who had been told by an Elder, in life as we walk there will be many things that come upon our path. Pick up and learn about all that is good. Leave well alone all that is bad. We were exposed to many things in recent history and much was forced upon us. Today we have the choice. Do we want to hold onto those bad things that were not the Lakota way? Have we grown too used to them? The Lakota way is Wolakota. How we act, the heart behind the words, the way we walk as a two-legged.
Our culture is one of beauty. Our dances. Our beading and Star Quilts. Our songs and Language. Our Ceremonies and Traditions.
This is the time. This is our mother's time. Lets be the leaders of spirit in all that is good. Let our actions be part of the mending of the Sacred Hoop. It will take being warriors that heal rather than shed blood. Walking with the Canupa rather than a gun
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