Would CrazyHorse have been there?

It was a historical event. The gathering of so many representatives of Turtle island's Indigenous Nations at the White House.
I prayed with thankfulness and made offerings of food and tobacco for our Ancestors. The day was one of reflection and celebration, that's where I wanted to stay but a voice inside was whispering.
Days passed and I found the whisper getting louder. I shrugged it of, I didn't want to be anything but positive in my support for the efforts that could lead to major changes for the better. So much for that.. the voice finally broke through and I heard it ask

"would CrazyHorse have been there?"

It's impossible for anyone to answer that. It did however lead me to sitting with what had transpired that day, especially the words from the US President. This is not about him and nor is it about anyone else that was there but it is about the situation that was started so long ago.

“It’s a commitment that’s deeper than our unique nation-to-nation relationship. It’s a commitment to getting this relationship right, so that you can be full partners in the American economy, and so your children and your grandchildren can have an equal shot at pursuing the American dream.”
US President Obama

American Dream? is that the same dream as an Indigenous person dreams? isn't that the dream of one and the nightmare of another?
It doesn't need to be any clearer when I look back over the never ending and complete disregard for what the Indigenous People's know as sacred. The disputes and struggles continue over many sacred sites which for those pursuing the American Dream want to stake their claim and make their money. Bear Butte in SD is a good example.We were victorious in beating a planned shooting range from being built there (would never have been considered in the first place if Bear Butte was a church) Now another bar is being built there for the Biker Rallies.. alcohol beside a sacred site.. again would be a non started if Bear Butte was a church.
These are just a drop in the ocean that is the conflict between the American Dream and the Indigenous Peoples.
There are fundamental differences between the very nature of these cultures and our relationship to the earth. Everything is for sale,open for exploiting and the American dollar... in God we trust.
So I sat with this and thought about the historical gathering at the White House.. Tipis on the front yard and hearts within the halls. I wondered if the conversation of such hearts and minds that hold our mother sacred would ever truly be heard and understood by the hearts and minds of those in 'power' of the system? A system that is one of extraction and cannot exist beyond being that.
Is it the equal access to the 'American Dream' that should be the path chosen? Should that be the agenda already set? I feel it shows how stuck the US mindset is. All other people demanded equal rights to the 'whites' in the US.. the Indigenous demand and fight for their Traditional rights. This is a huge difference and conflict beyond anything else.
Maybe,just maybe the conversation should become one of listening to the Indigenous wisdom and bring the American Dream into one that embraces all life with acknowledgment and respect without prejudice?
So,as I come to a place of stillness with the question I remember something I saw.. it was about alcoholism among the Indigenous people and there was a man being put into a police car... he turned to the camera.. with tears in his eyes and asked.. "can they bring back the buffalo? the wild mustangs... can they?"
For the sake of all life I Pray that dialogue continues,gatherings around the world between governments and the Indigenous people carry momentum and maybe then the health of the natural world will grow in strength.

Ina and Ate

Today is my Ate's (father's) birthday. He made his journey home 11 years ago, 13 years after my Ina (mother) had.
Those who know me well would most likely say I speak often of my Ate but seldom of my Ina. It's not an expression of loving one more than the other. Both taught me much wisdom.
My Ina did not sit me down and teach. It was growing in her love as a child that taught me.
I was 23 when I finally met my Ate. He gave me my life back, the life my Ina had given birth to.
This was when I realized I wasn't crazy and that there was a place in this world that made sense.
(I have lost count of the times I have written and deleted this blog.... maybe it's a time to keep my memories close but something is wanting to be shared).

I am as a tree. My Ate and Ina's DNA is within me. Unraveling and reaching at both ends. strengthening and expanding. Their blood is with mine.. the rising sap.
Branches with buds now forming, hands to the heavens calling out to the sun and air. embracing, feeding, becoming self made from the elements.
Roots, becoming aware and thus growing in acceptance. Hearing the voices of those who have been before. their lives held deep now in the comfort of our mother's embrace.
I grow, led in the direction of those voices. A darker, richer earth warmed by our mother's heart.
There is the gathering place. There exist the conversations of all Nations born. We are one. We are many. We share in the Inipi of our mother's womb with songs of prayer deep in the heart of the earth. journeying up through the roots of those who are still connected. Those who have felt the stirring of their Ancestors in the blood and land.
My Ate nurtured my roots. The strong ones that had survived. They were watered by my tears as I fell to my knees and wept for our mother.. as I wept for my Ina.. as I felt the meaning of Home.
My Ancestors had never left my side, they never leave anyone's side. It is us who leaves them. It is us who forgets our mother. It is us who stops loving..... come Home. listen to the voices in the earth. Feel the drum that is her heart.Let the wind caress and play with your hair and the Sun feed your soul.

So there it is, for whatever reason, the words to share on the the day that marks the welcoming of my Ate to the world. I wish you could all have met him. To have heard his laughter. To have felt his compassion.... Ate, Toksa ake.

The Fog

Usually when the road is foggy we can switch on our fog lights. Sometimes though the battery hasn't enough juice.
I am recovering from parasites. I know this is very personal to share but Hey! this is a road trip.
It struck me as interesting that i wrote a blog about parasites and leeches before. Now I have experienced both literally (as well symbolically).
Was I asking for this?
I am grateful for this most recent health issue. As grateful was I for the small fella that attached itself to my arm and helped itself to a drink (a whole new twist to "the drinks are on me").
The physical symptoms were not too alarming. Sensations of nausea,low energy,weight loss and of course the most obvious.
I became increasingly low of mood and thought. I wrapped myself up in my Star quilt and withdrew.
One night I grew so tired of this and finally prayed one night to my father. Tears were shed.
My stubbornness caved and gave way to the acceptance I had to seek the help of western medicine. I hadn't been to see a doctor since I was around 8yrs old. it was a big step for me and so I went.
Tests were done and then the doctor asked if I wanted the name of the parasite so I could look it up on the internet. Of course I did. If something had decided to hitch a ride inside me I wanted to at least be on first name terms.
My reward for taking action was some medicine that made my head pound.
But.
That was a passing phase and soon I received the real gift.
The Fog Lifted.
My eyes got their sparkle back.
Color flushed my skin.
Joy to share in conversation returned.
To was mentioned to me about the symbolism of myself having parasites.
I agreed.
It does not merely imply outside parasites (of which there are always many) but also my own. the things that held me back. Robbed me of my nourishment.
Life can be full of tests and none more hidden than our own self inflicted.
Do we live with them or take action to cleanse ourselves.
I know when our bodies are injured we can protect that area by not fully using it. Sometimes we have to. But. Not forever. Maybe fear grows from the injury or comfort? An excuse even, for us not to fully extend ourselves.
Anyway, I am alert, alive and nourished now. I thank the millions of parasites that took a ride with me for a while on this road trip. But. Enough's enough and I had to open the door and kick them out.
The ride is lighter and the road ahead is clearer now the fog has lifted.

Our Mothers are the Earth

This is an old piece I wrote and felt to share it here...

Firstly I would like to offer a prayer of thankfulness; To acknowledge the gift of another day, offering us all the opportunity to feel the love of Creation and to send our love back upon the four winds. To feel the Earth beneath our feet and thank our Grandmother, Mother Earth for all that she gives.

Imagine a mother who holds her children so close in her heart. Nothing but love is in everything she does. The food she cooks; the nurturing of the home as the place that shelters her children when they sleep, hurt, or play.

Imagine her children beginning to take her love for granted, disrespecting the home, taking from it all and giving nothing back. They start to ignore their mother's words, distancing themselves and forgetting to tell her they love her. They never offer a hug or words of warmth. They begin to talk back and put her down, even raise their voices and fists – slamming doors and entering the home drunk, high, and bringing discord and violence into the safety the home was nurtured to be.

Imagine the father, loud and abusive towards the mother. Disrespecting the home with no concern but his own needs. What does he do to influence the children?

Can we still expect the mother to sit quietly and allow herself to be abused? To have her love taken and thrown aside, showing no compassion or love towards her?

Would we blame her if her heart breaks and feels to let go? No matter the love she still holds for her children because now all it causes is a deep pain and tears; wounds that cannot heal.

Could we still demand she remain or would we understand her heart is beyond saving?

Is it when she finally lets go and leaves all behind that we realize the emptiness of life without her. The extinction of a love that was far greater than we can muster.

It is a woman who carries the growing generations to come. It is the mother's milk that feeds us and her love,the first love, that holds us when we are hurt; allows us to grow safe from harm into the individuals we are.

Now realize that this is the story of our Grandmother, Mother Earth as well. We are all her children, we all belong to her and she refuses no one her love and shelter. If we allow her love to fade and continue to allow her body to be raped can we expect anything else but her leaving?

As her children we must know that we cannot divide her up and love just one part, she is whole, as are we. All of her is sacred.

If she does leave, I ask you to acknowledge deep within your hearts that nothing else matters. There is no life if our Grandmother, Mother Earth dies. All life will follow. That is a truth we cannot deny.

As we are towards our women, and as women are back, that is a reflection of the path the human race is walking and creating.

We can change; we can embrace our Mothers, Grandmothers, Sisters, Daughters, and Wives. We can realize that to love is not a weakness but the truest strength. We are all in this together.

Two-leggeds, once walked with Mother Earth as one – Can we afford not to?