upon refection and running with the wind

I have sat in reflection. Listened to the voices of the elders who reminded everyone of Wolakota. Our values that make us Lakota. Courage, respect, compassion.. all of them. It's easier now for me to hear that because I have run until my body burned away the adrenaline that had released within me. I clambered steep buttes and threw rocks up into the wind until my arms grew weary and the anger had been released from my heart and hands. I fell to my knees and shed tears into the earth until peace washed over me like a child given comfort by their mother.Those tears were the pain of our history and each was the life of an ancestor who fought to remain Lakota.

Those military in the Blackhawks had no idea our Tribal Leader/Council had not spoken with the people. I am responsible for my own reaction. I acknowledge my anger, my tears and I am responsible for releasing what my body has come to hold. I do not want these emotions spent on other people. People who did not know. I want to bring forth the Wolakota. Respect, courage, compassion.
It takes courage to explore the anger and hurt within. I do not wish to kick the dog, yell at the child, or fight with my neighbor… only to cry and to run, to let it out, and it does frighten me. To face all that. But I must so I do not feel a rage at someone weaker than me, perhaps a woman, perhaps a soldier. I must so that I don't drink or get high and with the pain as an excuse. We all know on the rez the terrible things, the abuse and deaths that come from that.
It was not wrong to run at those Helicopters, not when no one had been told they were coming. There was no time to sit with it and find the calm. In that very moment all the pain was awoken.

But now we can ask..

You who knew only what you saw. The sight of military helicopters approaching. You who felt the strength to make a stand. To protect those who now lay in the embrace of our mother the earth. I wonder, can you feel to invite those men in the helicopters back? Can you feel the strength in preparing a feast and asking those soldiers to sit and share food? Can we invite them and say, My Great Grandmother is in the ground that you wished to land upon? My uncles of the past. Small children who never saw two summers, yes, buried there. It was a time of genocide. Come with us and face that so we all might learn together? Can we offer the Canupa with a Prayer for healing? Can we offer those soldiers a gift of our story, our sorrow, our suffering, our humanness and compassion so that it is a seed within them that will grow?

How far can we find it within ourselves to reach out and offer those things that the world needs if it is to get better for the generations to come... all Nation's generations.

You were brave but can you be braver still and show the way? It's the way our Ancestors walked since we came from our Mother.

If this is our dream, hopes and prayers... a pleading with Tunkasila, that we as a Nation will flourish. That our youth will not seek escape through suicide. That we will truly be sovereign and healthy. Respected and heard. Then what are we willing to do?
Can we as a Nation become truly one? Can we accept those who may only have one drop of Lakota blood? Can we laugh together? Pray together? Sun Dance with the sacrifice of only one Cottonwood? Can we as communities help each other. Care for the elders and young of all families as one family?

There is hope. I see it in the richness of who we are. The programs that are growing, pushing up through the despair. No longer living as victims but as empowering hearts and minds. It's a freedom from the wounds. Not a forgetting but a living for the generations new and yet to be.
It's exhausting to the mind, body and spirit if we remain at war... it spreads to in fighting. It becomes all we know. Whether with our self, family, community or as racism. Gangs are born and divisions built or families feud with other families.
I remember being told by my Ate, who had been told by an Elder, in life as we walk there will be many things that come upon our path. Pick up and learn about all that is good. Leave well alone all that is bad. We were exposed to many things in recent history and much was forced upon us. Today we have the choice. Do we want to hold onto those bad things that were not the Lakota way? Have we grown too used to them? The Lakota way is Wolakota. How we act, the heart behind the words, the way we walk as a two-legged.

Our culture is one of beauty. Our dances. Our beading and Star Quilts. Our songs and Language. Our Ceremonies and Traditions.
This is the time. This is our mother's time. Lets be the leaders of spirit in all that is good. Let our actions be part of the mending of the Sacred Hoop. It will take being warriors that heal rather than shed blood. Walking with the Canupa rather than a gun

communication; a response to the truth of Blackhawks speak

So.. the lights have been switched on, full beam upon the road ahead.
I've been reminded today of something of great importance... communication. Or the lack of it. Or the abuse of it.
Fear, mistrust, old wounds and a proven history can feed the worst in us. It must also be acknowledged for it's seeds were sown somewhere by someone. It can become a finger sweating on the trigger or a gust of wind to a spark.
Great things were born from those Blackhawks. I had mentioned how I had felt happy about it all happening. But what to do with this chance that comes from such spirit and blood rising in a Nation to Nation reality? Things have to change... this has been the warning sign. Who noticed how far the news spread and who fed it with their own agendas? People from CA wanting to come and fight beside the Lakota's. Who is looking for a fight? Who wants blood? Who wants healing? Who wants family,community,national,international and global unity?
Things can start from here. It wasn't the 7th cavalry invading. It wasn't military bullying. It wasn't wrong of the people to run at the Blackhawks. It was a terrible breakdown of communication though.

Iktomi and the Blackhawks speak

Some trips of the soul are without moving yet are powerfully moved by something that happens. Yesterday was such a day for me. It was such a day for many people. A day that carried a message through an act that holds no sense or reason other than something not light. It was dark.. it came in the form of 3 military Blackhawks. Their presence and unknown intention cast shadows over the burial site at WoundedKnee... literally. That was their chosen landing ground... that was the other voice behind the message.
There is no excuse or smoke screen that can hide the depth of this act and the lasting affect it will have. Old wounds picked at and our Ancestors mocked. We bring offerings and Prayers to that land where out Ancestors were murdered. We give of ourselves so their spirits can feel peace. People from all around the world come respectfully to learn, pray and honor our dead. The military bring their arrogance and sacrilege.
This will continue. We must demand they give their reason, they must honor our Nation. This is a mockery of a Nation's sovereignty. It would be seen as an act of military aggression anywhere else so don't be surprised that this is how my heart and all the Oyate's see it.

.....a little further down the road...

I have sat with the Blackhawk messengers and now I am happy. I'm happy because they bought truth. They spoke loudly of the non existent respect for us. They showed that nothing has changed. They showed our men and women's courage when charging towards the Blackhawks and resisting. No bowing down or being bullied.
In the old ways we would send runners. They had offerings for other tribes. This was to let them know we would be passing through... it's called respect. And we were called uncivilized.

So, we await Iktomi to come and tell the reason. We wait for the media web to slant any truth and no doubt show the Lakota to be in the wrong, ungrateful or over reacting. We wait but we do not cower.
I cannot apologize for the taste of this blog being 'us' and 'them' because that is the truth of this incident. But I do know that there are many non Lakota, non Indigenous that are as opposed to this as the Oyate ourselves. There are many who have felt and experienced the divide between civilian and military. Katrina showed that with the National Guard on the streets with guns. Were they going to shoot at the flood water? Were they going to shoot the mother that was labeled a looter? She had baby formula for her hungry child... was she supposed to wait until the store opened a few months later?
A little side road there.. but now heading for the destination again.

I hear that this is going to be taken before the UN Council, good, very good because this is a local issue, a Nation to Nation issue, a global Indigenous issue..... it's about respect and the actions of bullies.

It's time to talk and time for them to listen. It's time for unity as our Mother bleeds into the ocean. It's time for a new way.